So Owen can eat pretty much anything he wants at this point, right?
Except peanut butter.
He gets little hives when he eats peanut butter.
Ross, you know, he sort of feeds himself now.
No kidding? That's amazing.
Not really.
I mean, he's 16 months. It'd be kind of scary if he didn't.
See, I, I didn't know that, and this thing he's doing, for example, right now,
squinching up his face and holding his breath, what does that mean?
-Bless you. -God bless you.
He's playing a game, right?
No, he's pooping.
Oh.
Oh, right.
I'll change him. I can't smell anything, anyway.
How do you know what kind of diapers to use?
I mean, do you buy them all, and then kind of let him decide?
Okay, um,
about a year and a half ago, I put my name on this list,
and I filled out some forms and I went in for an interview
and I didn't say anything about it because I really didn't believe anything would happen.
I mean, at least, not for a really long time.
I mean, you know, being a single guy, and...
But I've wanted this for a long time,
so anyway, about 36 hours ago, this baby girl was born,
and, amazingly, yesterday the agency called.
So that's why diapers kind of matter to me right now.
Wow!
Ross.
Ross!
That's great!
It's so exciting.
Oh, it's great.
Something going on?
You'll never guess who's having a baby.
The thing is, we were always so careful.
I mean, we have never not been careful.
Not once, right?
Twenty five, 24, 23...
And you always use a real, established brand,
not, like, "Jerry's Condoms" or anything, right?
Seventeen, 16, 15...
So there's no way.
I mean, there's no way, right?
Right. None. Zero. Zip.
I know I'm pregnant. I just know it.
Oh, God.
Look, I just want you to know...
Uh-huh.
-Whatever happens... -Mmm-hmm.
I am never, ever having sex again.
Mmm-hmm.
♪ Everybody wants to live ♪
♪ Like they wanna live ♪
♪ And everybody wants to love ♪
♪ Like they wanna love ♪
♪ Everybody wants to be ♪
♪ Closer to free ♪
♪ Everybody wants to live ♪
♪ Like they wanna live ♪
♪ Everybody wants to love ♪
♪ Like they wanna love ♪
♪ Everybody wants to be ♪
♪ Closer to free ♪
Hey, Jule, what do you think?
Why are you guys in such a good mood?
What? Oh, we're, uh... We're celebrating.
Celebrating what?
Um...
The way things always have a way of working out in the end.
-This shouldn't go up? -No.
Hey, tell him the basketball jersey look is passe, Julia.
Since when are you okay with a wardrobe consultant?
Since it's been decided that I have no taste.
Oh.
You know what I need to do?
I need to get my brother a new jacket.
I left his suede one down in LA, and man, is he pissed at me.
He loved that coat.
What do you think?
For Justin.
He's kind of into this ratty, old windbreaker, and if I got him this...
-This one? -Mmm-hmm.
This is the kind of shirt worn by men named Barney, Julia.
No, really. Look. See the buttons on the bottom?
They don't match the top ones.
Beer gut. Not cool.
Now, this...
Now, this is a Dale shirt.
See how the sleeve's all stretched out,
like the guy pushed it up to show off his tattoos.
You should get Justin this one.
Okay.
Hey, you're pretty good at this stuff.
Jill Holbrook, clothing archaeologist.
I love imagining all the people who wore this stuff.
One day, I want to have a store just like this one.
Think I'd be good at it? I mean, you think I could?
One day?
You bought me clothes?
My mother buys me clothes.
Your mother buys you dickies and galoshes and things like that.
And, this... This is cool, so be a pleasant person, hmm?
And open it up and look in it and tell me you love it
and give me a hug and a kiss and put it on and never take it off.
What is it?
Well, it's a jacket and it's '50s-ish
and it's got a pattern. See?
I already have a windbreaker.
Put it on.
You don't like the way I dress, do you?
I didn't say that.
I'm not cool enough for you? Is that it?
Your words, not mine.
You're embarrassed to be seen with me and my windbreaker.
I'm never buying you another gift, just so you know.
I like it.
I do.
I think it looks great on you.
Don't you?
You're trying to change me.
Already you're trying to change me.
Oh, Mr. Holbrook,
Hi. It's Bailey. Is Jill there? We were going to...
"Kleenex."
Oh, double-word score.
Eight, nine, ten...
They gave me one of those scratch tests on my back.
It was awful.
Bet its seafood.
It's like me with shrimp.
I mean, I have one of those things, and I blow up, like...
It's really gross. My skin gets all blotchy and my tongue gets swelled up
and my nose is, like, mucous city
and my eyes get all milky and runny and...
And, um...
I'll stop now.
Well, is it seafood?
Uh, no.
It's him.
Who?
Him!
- Thurber? - Bingo!
Now, after all this time, you're allergic to Thurber?
I guess I've just been in the house much more, with my thesis to write.
I don't know. I can't explain it.
It just kicked in with a vengeance,
but the point is, I can't breathe.
So, it's him or me.
Wow. Huh.
Kirsten, where will you go?
Charlie, that's horrible.
Charlie.
Hey.
Okay.
Bay?
What's going on?
She's dead.
Jill. She's dead.
What? I don't get it.
Bailey?
They...
Her mom found her...
...in her room.
There was some, uh...
Cocaine.
Her heart stopped.
I don't know. Uh...
Anyway, that's it.
She's dead.
What do you want, Claud?
I don't know.
I don't understand, Bay.
I thought she was okay. I mean, you just saw her, and she was okay, right?
And she was in that program, so...
How could this happen?
How come she had drugs in her room?
Bailey?
How do I know?
Maybe she bought them from some creep this afternoon.
Maybe she had them left over.
Maybe she found them on the damn street. Who the hell cares?
What difference does it make?
So that can happen?
You can just take something once...
-I can't believe-- -Claudia.
Was she alone?
You think she knew what was happening?
You think she was scared?
I don't know.
Why are you crying?
Because...
Why aren't you?
Would you please get out of here, Claudia?
I want to go to the funeral with you.
-No. -Why not?
Because I am not going to any funeral.
What?
I'm not wasting my time, okay?
She wanted to do something stupid, she wanted to throw everything away, that's fine.
It is her problem. It's her fault. Not mine.
I'm not crying at her stupid funeral. She can just forget it.
Why is it when someone dies, people always say, "But I just saw her"?
Ever notice that?
Like having just seen someone,
having just talked to them is some sort of guarantee
they're going to be there the next day.
You'll be here when I wake up, Charlie, won't you?
I'll be here.
Let's make love, okay?
Okay.
He should be here. It's not right.
All this talk about a life lived to the fullest,
and how we're all better for having known her.
I guess people need to be comforted.
Why don't they just say it's a waste, huh?
And that there's no good lesson in it, and there's no comfort?
It's just a waste.
That's her older brother.
Let's go home, Jule.
He must be really cold, huh?
Come on.
You didn't need to come. Really, I would've understood.
I thought...
I thought maybe it was a good idea to bring her,
show her something, I don't know, wonderful.
She is so beautiful, Ross.
Isn't she?
I mean, even looking at her from a completely objective, neutral, empirical perspective.
When Owen was born,
everyone said he was such a beautiful baby,
but I thought he looked like a walnut.
A crying walnut.
She doesn't look like a walnut at all, Ross.
When do you get to take her home?
Excellent question. Kendra.
When do I get to take her home?
Well, checkout time is looking like sometime tomorrow.
So, are you any closer to choosing a name?
I thought I'd wait a little longer, till I got to know her better.
Have you thought about naming her after someone?
Yeah, like a famous musician or something.
Or a family member. What's your mom's name, Ross?
Mavis.
Mavis?
Bay!
Bailey!
You sure about this? Sure you want to be here?
Sure, I'm sure.
Because, you know, we could go someplace else.
Someplace quieter, where we could...
Where we could, you know, talk.
Don't want to talk.
Want to drink. Want to dance.
Want to dance?
Later.
Want a beer or something?
Look, they'll card us.
No, they won't. Not if we got past the bouncer.
Excuse me.
Where'd she go? Excuse me, could we get a...
Look, let's just...
We'll stay for the first set, and then we'll split, okay?
Look, if you're not up for a good time, fine, but I am, okay?
So if you're gonna be a drag, if you're gonna stand around all night, looking like somebody died...
Bailey, come on, let's talk about it, man!
What is there to talk about?
You know!
Her!
Jill.
Excuse me.
Can I get a couple of drafts, please?
See?
What did I tell you? Piece of cake.
Bailey?
Hey, I want to talk to you both.
I know this is going to seem like kind of a weird time to bring this up, but, um...
I was lying in bed this morning,
and I was watching Kirsten...
You know, get dressed and stuff.
Should I be hearing this?
It's G-rated. I promise.
Okay.
She's getting ready to go and,
and I'm thinking...
I'm thinking, "Don't walk out that door.
Don't go,
because in here, in this room, everything is just the way I want it to be,
and out there, who knows?
Even tomorrow, who knows?"
And I thought, "What am I waiting for?"
You want to ask her to marry you.
Really?
I just think--
You don't have to explain, Charlie.
We understand, and you don't have to ask our permission, either.
No, I know.
It's not that.
I want to ask her in kind of a special way.
I want to give her Mom's ring...
Oh.
And I know it's not mine to give
and I know I'll have to ask Bay too,
and I know that you guys might want it someday.
I mean, you have every right, for when you get married.
Well, I have no immediate prospects.
Right. Well...
I could completely understand.
I think you should do it.
I think you should give her the ring.
Do it, Charlie.
Thanks.
So why'd you tell that girl you'd call her, huh?
I might call her.
I will.
I liked her.
She was nice, and she was cute.
Didn't you think she was cute?
So this is how it's going to be?
You're just going to go on like nothing happened, clubbing, hitting on girls?
What are you doing? Give me the keys, Bay.
Why?
Why? Because you're drunk, that's why. I'm driving.
I am not drunk.
Hey, I am not drunk.
Fine. You're not drunk,
you're not sad, you're not angry, you're not anything,
and you're not getting behind the wheel.
Give me the keys, Will.
Will, give me...
Give me the keys!
Look...
Bailey!
Bailey, what the hell do you think you're doing?
-What? -Driving drunk?
I am not...
Did you tattle on me, man?
You stupid, stupid son of a bitch!
What are you thinking about?
Like every day in this house doesn't say to you, you do not drink and then get behind the wheel.
-Okay. -Like you need to be told.
Okay! Fine. You made your point.
Thanks a lot.
Come on, I was worried!
Look, I know this is hard,
I know you're going through some stuff, but you don't have to do it alone.
You just going to shut everyone out?
Yeah.
Why? I don't get it.
I'll tell you this, Bailey.
I am not going to let you self-destruct.
I am not going to let you kill yourself.
That's funny.
That... That is hysterical. You know why?
Because I said the same thing.
The exact same thing, and you know what?
You can say it.
And... And you can mean it.
But the truth is,
there is nothing,
nothing that you can do about it.
They're just words.
-Bailey-- -That's all they are.
Just words.
What?
Uh, I saw you yesterday at the, uh...
Well, anyways, I keep seeing you.
How you doing? You okay?
I... I knew her.
Jill, because she and my brother were...
Anyways, I knew her, so I thought that maybe, uh...
What?
I thought that maybe we could talk or something.
Or something?
Well, I thought that I could help you.
What makes you think I need help?
She was your sister.
So?
So you understand what I'm going through?
Yes.
You understand me?
What I need?
Well, I, uh...
You know how to make it all better?
I, uh...
You don't know anything.
Hi.
Okay.
I found the infant seat, and I also found this.
A mobile, to hang over her crib,
and a dog.
Every child needs a dog.
Take this one. Please.
She's not coming home with me today.
What?
And I have this feeling...
I think they're going to give her to someone else.
I thought everything was all set.
I was going over some insurance information with Kendra yesterday,
and she asked me why my medical records
show I get an HIV test every six months,
so I told her, that I'm gay.
She didn't know?
I didn't put it on my application.
I know, I know, but I thought...
I mean, it's hard enough
to adopt a baby as a single man but as a single gay man,
I figured I didn't stand a chance.
So this morning, Kendra said there was some last-minute confusion, some delay,
but I think I know what she's not saying.
It has to work out, because this...
This is the only way it's ever going to happen for me.
I know.
I want her to belong to me.
And I want to belong to her,
because all of a sudden, I mean,
that seems like the whole point, doesn't it?
Yes.
You know, I can't find the receipt,
so you'd better hope they'll give an exchange without proof of purchase.
I don't know why you're the one that's pissed off,
like I insulted you because I'd rather not walk around looking like a bad lounge act.
Hey.
You know, I wouldn't go out, and without any regards to your personal style,
buy you, buy you something like, like this.
Although...
What size do you wear again?
Now, this... This is me. This I like.
What's going on with these buttons here?
The bottom ones don't match the top ones.
Barney.
What?
Nothing.
Hey, Jule.
What are you looking over there for? I already have a jacket.
-Charlie. -Hmm?
Will you barry me?
-Will I bury you? -No.
I don't know.
-Do we have to decide that right now? -Charlie--
I suppose if anything ever happened to you,
God forbid, and you wanted to be buried--
I said, "Will you barry me?" I want to be barried to you.
Barry, not bury.
Oh.
My God, this is not how I wanted this to go.
You're asking me to marry you?
This is the way I figure it.
I love you,
so obviously, I want to make a commitment to you forever, because...
Well, what are we waiting for?
I mean, when you have now exactly what you want, why wait?
Things only go away.
And I want to hold on to everything that matters to me,
and that means you, Charlie.
Well, I was moved by that argument.
Charlie.
I wanted to ask you.
What?
I'm supposed to ask you.
Damn.
Damn. I was getting all ready--
For God's sakes, does that mean yes?
Is that what you're saying? Yes?
Yes! Okay?
Yes.
I will definitely barry you.
Griffin.
Man, you don't learn.
I want to talk to you.
What is your problem?
I don't want anything from you, okay?
So just get out of here.
Stop following me around.
No, please. I, uh...
I have this coat for you.
What? A coat?
You're giving me a coat?
You don't understand.
Get the hell out of here!
Do you understand that?
I don't want you talking to me, or...
...or following me around.
I don't need you to feel sorry for me,
and I don't need your damn coat!
It's from Jill.
She told me about leaving your coat in LA,
so you see, this...
This stupid old thing... She was going to buy it for you.
She was planning to give it to you
to replace the one that she lost.
That's what she told me,
only she never got around to it,
so I just thought maybe...
Go away.
I know what it's like...
To lose someone.
I mean...
I know how that feels.
And I'm sorry.
It's just, you look so cold.
And I thought you should have this.
Hey.
Something you want?
Nah.
You haven't talked to anybody all day.
No?
Hmm.
Oh, listen, uh, this is, um,
I just thought this was really something.
Jill's Mom called.
You were out.
She, uh, asked if maybe you could stop by.
Forget it.
You don't want anything from anybody.
Pretty much.
Can we talk about that?
No.
The thing is, Bay, we...
Kind of get through this stuff together.
No one gets through stuff together.
You get through everything alone.
Come on.
She was alone,
and not just at the end. The whole time.
She couldn't ask for help, I couldn't give her help, and that's the way it is.
No, it isn't.
Come on, Bay.
Get away. Get away! Get away from me!
Bailey, I care about you.
Don't.
I don't want you to care about me, okay?
I don't want anyone to care about me.
Why? What is going on, Bay?
Are you, like, blaming yourself?
Is this about feeling like it's your fault or something?
No.
No. You don't understand.
I made a mistake,
and, and I swear to God, I am not going to make it again.
What?
I am not going to feel that way about anyone anymore.
I am not going to love anyone anymore.
-Bailey-- -I can't.
I can't.
Please. It's too hard.
It's too hard, and it hurts too much,
so I don't want to love anyone,
and I don't want anyone to love me.
Well, that's too bad.
Charlie...
You don't have a choice.
No!
Because I love you, Bay.
Please, Charlie...
I love you.
I love you, man.
They're saying there may have been a mix-up,
that a couple may have been ahead of me on the list.
But I think...
Know it's because they've reconsidered my fitness as a parent.
I'm sure it's not that.
I mean, how could it be that?
You would make an incredible father.
I mean, you never yell.
Never.
And you never do that thing parents do
when they're supposed to be listening to you,
but really they're just noticing you've got a lot of wax in your ears.
It's not going to happen, Claud.
No?
And I don't know what to do.
See, I... I made this horrible mistake.
I did something so incredibly stupid.
I fell in love with her.
I held her for, like, a total of maybe three hours,
but I fell in love with her.
I'll talk to you in a minute, okay?
Hey.
Looks good on you.
Did you find the little ticket stub in the pocket?
Yeah.
A boat trip to Point Reyes.
I was thinking the guy who owned that coat,
took his girlfriend there, and they spent the whole day,
and that was probably the day they fell in love,
and these little, white stains...
I bet he had a baby,
and even though he was probably a pretty tough guy,
he would hold his little girl's head right here,
and she would let out little milk burps.
And this stain?
Red wine from some big celebration.
He...
He won 500 bucks in the lottery.
Right.
Or, uh, his horse came in.
Right.
Wonderful things happened to the people who own that coat.
Wonderful things happen all the time.
Miss Erhardt?
Hi. Your office said I could probably find you out here.
I'm Bailey Salinger. I'm a friend of Ross'...
I see.
And I've known Ross for a really long time,
so I thought I'd come down here
and tell you some things about him.
Well, I'm not sure--
He teaches my sister, Claudia, the violin.
He's her teacher, but actually,
actually, he's, he's kind of more than that.
He cares for her,
and he's there for her when she makes mistakes,
and I think,
I think he loves her no matter what she does,
you know, without question,
which is kind of what a parent is, I think, so, so at least--
Mr. Salinger--
At least you could come down and watch him with my sister
before you decide that he has no business being a parent.
Look, I appreciate your concern.
There are some administrative problems that we have to work out.
Yeah, I know.
Administrative problems that have something to do with the fact that he's gay.
Nothing had been decided one way or the other.
He really, really loves this baby,
so how can you say that that isn't good enough?
How does being gay matter at all?
I mean, if someone is actually willing
to love someone else, that is not so easy to do.
It's so hard,
and, and it doesn't happen that often.
So...
Where you been?
What are you doing?
You remember this?
Mother's Day?
So, what, you thinking about accessorizing?
About proposing? Are you going to propose to her, Charlie?
Actually, she beat me to it.
Really?
No kidding?
So...
Yeah.
I think so. I think we're going to do it.
I love her.
I know you do.
So, good.
Really?
Yeah.
It feels...
I don't know.
Right.
I bet it'll fit her.
Do you need help with this?
No, thanks.
Hey, your windbreaker.
Yeah, my windbreaker.
Nice, huh?
Hey, look what else I got.
Picked it up with my store credit.
I know, it's not your style, right?
Well, what can I do, you know? It's who I am.
So, I, uh, guess you're probably going to start looking at other guys now, right?
I mean, cooler guys, guys who have t-shirts and jeans
and cigarettes rolled up in their sleeves.
Guys with, uh, tattoos.
Guys with taste.
What? I mean, uh, you hate it.
I like it.
You do hate it.
Say something.
You have the most beautiful brown eyes.
Do you know that?
I want to give you this.
It's my Mom's ring.
The diamond ring that my father gave my mother,
God, 26 years ago.
The others want you to have it too.
And I love you.
So, open it.
Oh, Charlie...
Go on.
Huh...
What?
Is there...
Don't take this the wrong way, but is there an actual stone in there?
Let me see.
Mom wasn't big into jewelry,
and Dad was kind of a cheapskate.
I see.
I guess it has...
Sentimental value.
That'd be about the size of it.
Here's what I don't get.
She was so insecure, you know?
So what made her so, like, so arrogant
that she thought she could go back to it just one more time,
and it would be okay?
I don't know, man.
I don't know.
Yeah.
I hate her for it.
I want to scream at her.
She's, like, dead, and I want to scream at her.
Don't you?
Sometimes.
Sometimes I just want to touch her again.
She made a mistake, Griffin.
I keep trying to make it mean more, but it doesn't.
She just made a mistake.
Tess.
Tess. You know, she really looks like a Tess.
Yeah, she does, doesn't she?
Have you noticed Owen drools over mashed yams and pretty girls?
I think he's in love.
Yeah, well, wait in line, pal. I was here first.
FYI, Ross, I happen to be an excellent babysitter.
Okay.
Here we go. I chose my private stock.
Well, shouldn't we wait for Bailey?
He said he wasn't coming tonight.
Oh, really? I wanted him to meet my daughter.
God, that sounds so weird. My daughter.
You know, by the time Charlie plans this wedding,
your daughter will be old enough to be a flower girl.
Yeah, or play Pachelbel at the ceremony.
Oh, could I see the ring?
Or perform the ceremony.
Hey, whose side are you on?
Okay, Claud, two sips. That's it.
Hey.
Bay, I thought...
We were just, um...
Celebrating.
It's okay.
Is this...
Is this her?
She's mine.
Thank you.
Well, what'd he do?
-He, uh-- -Nothing.
Really, Ross, I didn't do anything.
I'm sure it wasn't what made the difference.
Maybe not, but maybe.
Do you think, maybe, um, could I hold her?
Sure.
There you go.
Yeah, I got her. I got her.
So is somebody going to make a toast, or what?
Charlie?
I suck at toasts.
Well, you'd better start practicing.
Just for the record, I am not gonna wear one of those poufy chiffon bridesmaids' dresses.
We weren't planning on inviting you anyway.
I thought the best man was supposed to make the toast.
Okay, Bay. Dress rehearsal.
Uh, all right. A toast.
A toast to Joe for taking that crappy manicotti off the menu.